Letter written in 2015
Original title “My Thoughts About Giving Up”.
I wanted to quit, I didn’t see the purpose of being a Christian anymore. Things weren’t going the way I expected, another failed relationship, unanswered prayers, and my faith was low. I was so discouraged, so discouraged to the point that I even stopped writing blogs. Funny how the blog title is Motivation For Christians and I was the one who needed the motivation. I thought to myself how can I motivate my readers if I’m not motivated myself? I was going through an unusual battle, I knew 2015 wasn’t going to be the best year, I even remembered the Holy Spirit revealing to me on New Years that this was going to be a year of many challenges.
One of the challenges was my faith. Thoughts came to my head debating if I should continue living for God or not. What is the point of living for him? You don’t need God to be good. Look at those who don’t live for Christ and look how successful they are without him? I felt my Spirit and flesh in a battle constantly fighting. I then learned to never underestimate the power of the Holy Spirit, after all, it is the same Spirit that rose Jesus from the dead and lives in us, so imagine what it could do in our lives today. One of the things I admire the most about the Holy Spirit is the comfort and the truth it brings that man cannot provide. I can’t put into words what the Spirit of God has done for me, but it brought clarity, comfort and truth in my life.
If you continue to seek the Lord with your faith, even if it’s the size of a mustard seed, he will not abandon you, I promise. God was testing my faith, he also wanted me to be aware of my own strength; consistency brings success. From my perspective a great teacher does more than teaching his lesson, but they help the students grow in the process, and that was exactly what God was doing with me. Hebrews 11:6 says, “And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.” No matter how small your faith is you need it to please God. So don’t be discouraged in your battles, go through your battles with the Lord, because after all, “ the battle belongs to the Lord.” (Proverbs 21:31 and 1 Samuel 17:47).
“ This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” -Joshua 1:9
Almost two years has passed and I realized one thing hasn’t changed, my thoughts about quitting. It is a constant battle that I have to fight, not giving up and choosing to live my life to its full potential. This year “2016” my battle was if I should quit chasing my dreams/passion. Is it really worth it? I thought to myself. I mean I could just settle with a 9 to 5 type of job, but something in my heart started to resist those thoughts. These words came to my heart so heavily “Why give up now? What do you have to lose? You’re single. You don’t have that much baggage. JUST GO FOR IT! Oh, and by the way I’ve also been struggling to find a job this whole year, no doors will open for me only when it comes to photography. So! I took it as a sign maybe God wants me to focus on my talent and dreams and to learn to put my TRUST in HIM. I am not sure what will happen or where I will be in the next five years because every time I plan out my life God has a funny way of rearranging it. But! I know for a fact that I won’t stop chasing my dreams cause I know he put these desires in my heart. This is year two of me chasing my dreams and I know now I CAN NOT RELY ON MY OWN STRENGTH BUT IN HIS ALONE.
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